Tim's cousin is getting married this summer. Pushing aside the fact that I feel incredibly old for him to be old enough to get married, I find that we're facing several dilemmas. First, the wedding is reasonably close (maybe an hour, hour and a half drive) so...do we get a hotel room for four days (they want everyone to come on Thursday and leave on Sunday) or just drive up and back and probably miss some of the activities? I lean a little toward maybe only staying one of the nights (the actual wedding - since the reception is at the hotel and then we would see everyone off and come home the last day) but I figure that's probably going to be considered anti-social. Still, the kiddo doesn't do particularly well in hotels (granted we've had only one experience so far and he's older now and so forth but...I'm wary) so I think he might do better at home.
Next dilemma...and this is the one I'm struggling to not be annoyed at...apparently kids are not welcome at the ceremony or reception so they've provided a list of babysitters from their church that we can pay. Honestly, I had kids at my wedding and never thought twice about it. Parents took the kids out as necessary and no one cared. I don't really get the whole trend toward kids not being welcome at stuff like this - if the parents are doing their job then it shouldn't be an issue. And yet I realize that that last bit is the problem...parents don't do their jobs. But WE do. So I'm annoyed that we're being penalized with the rest of the riff raff who don't choose to parent their children.
Add in the fact that I'm hesitant to take someone else's word for the goodness of a baby sitter and the fact that I'm not really sure the kiddo would do well with someone he's never met before and, well, where is he going to be babysat? Our hotel room? So now we have some teenager we don't know in our hotel room alone with our child? I just have issues with that. In fact, I'd be willing to skip the wedding and reception and let Tim go and just hang with the kiddo myself if that's what needs to happen because of their ridiculous policy.
Am I overreacting? (And if you think I am, could you explain why? Cause I really don't get it.) What would you do?
9 hours ago
We had a no kids thing for our wedding, but it was also because our wedding was late in the evening and we wanted our guests to be able to enjoy the party without dealing with their kids. We did have a couple of church girls available to babysit, though, because we knew some people would bring their kids anyway.
ReplyDeleteI understand the frustration, but there are a lot of reasons people don't want kids at their wedding.
As to your question of what do you do? Tough call.
ReplyDeleteI think the family might understand your inability to do the whole 4 day event with a toddler in tow.
Also, maybe just go to the wedding and reception, hiring your own babysitter at home, and not bothering to spend the night at all?
Seems pretty simple to me. Their wedding; their rules.
ReplyDelete[It's great being a guy. ;-)]
Eric, normally I would agree with you - and if they were friends (vs. family) I'd just say, "Okie, we can't make it." and be done. But we're expected to come, which then says to me you can't make rules like that in addition to the other.
ReplyDeleteJen - not going realistically isn't an option given family dynamics (I just don't need to be "that in-law" yet again.) I suspect what'll happen is that I just won't go and will hang with the kiddo at the hotel.
I completely understand not wanting to use their babysitter. My take is a little different...I think since you are family, and you are responsible parents who also prefer to take your child with you, you could get away with taking him anyway. Ignore the rules. You'll know how to respond if and when the time comes that one of you has to excuse yourself. Rules are for people who don't follow them anyway. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat's really tough. I think I'd take the baby and stand in the church foyer and just watch through the window. If people invite you to come in, you could reply, "Oh, no, I'm sorry. We're not allowed to bring him inside." (evil grin)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, what a pain!
LOL Gwynne and Michelle. :)
ReplyDeleteI may have gotten dispensation for him during the service (and if not, the groom's mom was like, "Why didn't I think of having the nursery open?" I bit my tongue.) The reception is still no kids but that's really cost related and I can kind of see it - though I suspect I'll still just end up not going.
stay home...screw em....wait till they have kids and then laugh quietly.....bunch of ding dongs....
ReplyDelete