On Aging Parents

When we bought the new house, one of the big draws was the ability to build a little cottage of sorts for my dad to live in. He's getting up there in years, a little unsteady on his feet, and lonely with Mom gone. That said, he's still perfectly able to live on his own, so there was no urgency to the situation and we were content to set it aside until such point as everyone was ready to push a little harder on it.

Then sister came back to town. And realistically, while she's living with Dad, neither of them need to be going up and down stairs much, so their current house really doesn't cut it. My cousin, who moved with sister, plans to head back to Cali in another year, so that has kind of kicked off a little more fervor in figuring this whole thing out.

BUT.

Because, of course, there's a but.

Hubby's parents, who have previously been perfectly healthy (being six or seven years younger than my own) are now, rather suddenly, taking a turn themselves.

Mother-in-law has what anyone not in denial can clearly identify as the beginnings of dementia. Father-in-law has not yet emerged from denial, for all that he's locked certain rooms to keep her out because she was wreaking havoc. She got put on a new med that was supposed to help ward off said dementia, but it caused her to have seizures (because of course it did) and last weekend, hubby broke land-speed records getting down there because she had passed out around 7:30 am and was unconscious until well after dinner. She did, ultimately, come around and doesn't seem to be any worse for wear. But the "back to normal" is the "back to new normal" which is, as he puts it, "Not the mom I grew up with."

So what does that mean? We're not clear. FIL isn't exactly spry and young. While he could take care of himself and a healthy wife, caring for an ailing wife is a different picture. 

At the same time, the youngest sister who has never managed to flap her way out of the nest is an additional wrench in the works.

I'm...flummoxed.

Neither hubby nor I have a good read on the best or right thing to do at this point. And so just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, the stress has returned full force.