Six Years

Mom died six years ago today.

I'm trying to decide if it's fitting that it's a dreary day around here. Mom enjoyed the rain. And the clouds. Although it's warmer that she would prefer for the weather (me, too, for that matter.)

I don't really understand how it can feel like a lifetime ago at the same time as it feels like yesterday.

And I'm struggling to decide if it's a good or bad thing to remember the day. 

I used to get so mad at my sister for all of her "bad thing X happened to me today" memorials throughout the year. "Just move on!" I thought. "Stop dwelling on it."

And while it's a little different - the loss of a Mom is definitely a bad thing, but it's not like the memorial of when a friendship imploded - I still wonder if not marking the day isn't the better choice.

I just don't know.

Not that I've done a ton of marking, mind you. It's been a full and busy day and I'm only just now getting a moment to sit and take a breath. But still, even as I ran around playing Mom Taxi, the "mom's gone" reminder has been just a little more evident in the back of my mind.

Not sure if I would be able to make that not the case if I tried, so maybe all of this is moot.

Anyway, life moves on, will you nill you. And honestly, that's probably a good thing.